elenahitomi's Xanga

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 13:49:14 GMT

Kabanata Isa : “Uhh… Ba’t Ganon?”

Mayroon akong dalawang tao na malapit sa akin at, sa tingin ko’y, napaka importante sa buhay ko. Pero hindi ako mapalagay… Mahal ko silang dalawa, pero mas magiging maluwag ang pakiramdam ko kung malaman ko lang kung anong klaseng pagmamahal ang nararamdaman ko kay Cael at Sid. Ano bang klaseng pagmamahal ang meron ko kay Kael at ano naman ang kay Sid? Hay…Mga tanong, oo…

August 15, 2005, Monday. Laking tuwa ko ng pumasok ako sa klasrum dahil hindi ako na-late. Bihira lang mangyari sa’kin ‘yun!. 8:30am ang simula ng leson pero nakarating ako ng 8. As usual, ang una kong narinig ay ang walang katapusang halakhakan ng mga kaklase’t kaibigan ko. Hindi na talaga sila nagsawa. But what can I do! Guys will be guys. At, sa tingin ko, masaya rin ang sense of “company”. One has to NOT be alone sometimes.

Nakita ko rin na naandoon na pala si Cael. Palagi siyang maaga. Medyo lumundag yung puso’t kalamnan ko dahil ang gwapo-gwapo niya at di ko mawari kung gaano siya kalakas sa akin. Si Cael Natividad ay di gaanong matangkad, pero mas matangkad siya sa’kin (maliit lang kasi ako e…) Maganda ang kanyang mata at makinis ang mukha. Fair ang kanyang balat at di gaanong payat, di gaanong mataba, tama lang. Mahaba ang kanyang buhok, hanggang sa balikat. Medyo magulo nga ito pero yun ang nagpapa-panalo sa image niya. Nakita ko siya na tumatawa sa mga jokes ng kanyang mga kasama. Gusto kong ngumiti at mamula pero pinaandar ko na lang ang pagtago ko ng emosyon. Dumaan ako na parang ‘wala lang’ kasi kunwari manhid ako.

“Oy, Ashley! Aga natin a!” tinawag ako ni Romel. Eto naman si Romel Padigan. Payat siya, medyo matangkad, nagsasalamin (kulay dark blue lang ang outline sa ilalim ng glass at sa ibabaw ay wala…) Fair-skinned at maikli ang buhok ngunit nakababa ito, mga two to three inches and haba ng kada strand ng kanyang buhok. Nakaupo sa isang sulok si Romel, nagdo-drawing ng puno na may prutas at ahas ng nakita niya akong ilagay ang bag sa arm-chair harap sa kung saan siya nakapwesto.

“Uy…” sinagot ko ang katanungan. “Ayus lang. Nagtitipid ako e kaya ibang ruta ang sinubukan ko. Yung isang ruta kasi mas makakatipid ako, hehehe,” sabi ko habang tinitignan ko ang kanyang drawing

Bigla akong napatingin sa pwesto nina Cael. Nagulat ako kasi nagkatinginan kami ni Cael kungkaya’t tumingin na ako agad sa ibang direksyon, kunwari may nakitang kaaya-ayang view sa labas ng window kahit wala naman.

Madalas ko ng nahuhuli si Cael na tumitingin sa direksyon ko. Ang kapal din naman siguro ng mukha ko kung inisip ko na tumitingin siya sa akin. Pero inisip ko talaga ang mga possibilities na hindi pupwede na maging pawing “coincidence” lang iyon. (Masyadong marami ang mga iyon kaya’t hindi ko na ibabahagi hehe..) Pero ayun nga, ba’t ba tingin ng tingin yun sa’kin? Siguro ang pangit ko kaya ganoon. Anyway, emotion-less mode na lang ako nung nagsimula ang mga so-called ‘Staring Frenzies’.

Pagkatapos ng morning class na natapos from 8:30am to 11:30am ay lumabas na kami para kumain. Dapat sasabay ako sa kada ko: Eloy, Lea, Cael, Matthew, Sandy, Bea, , Choy, Andy, Saza, Jod, Mot at Ed, ng kinalabit ako ni Zen, kaklase ko rin (buhok ay parang kay Wa Ze Lei ng F4, may pink na clip, maliit, at Tan-skinned.

“Uy Ash! Sabay ka sa’min ngayon kumain!”

“Bakit? Sabay ako kina Saza ngayon e, bukas na lang…”

“Sasama si Sid sa’min ngayon!”

“O?” Lumaki ang mga mata ko sa sindak.

“Oo! Tas kausapin mo. Diba sabi mo mismo sa’kin na gusto mo mag-sorry sa kanya dahil dun sa nangyari nung Thursday?” sabi ni Zen habang inaayos ang kanyang bag na nakasuot na sa kanyang balikat.

Nag-isip ako noon habang sinabi sa akin ni Zen. Oo, totoo na gusto kong mag-sorry. Medjo nag-away yata kami ni Sid nung araw na iyon. Iyon na ata ang isa mga pinaka-ayaw ko na araw, ng magsabi si Sid ng isang bagay na ayaw kong marinig.

Sinabi ko kay Zen na sasabay ako sa kanila. Pinuntahan ko sina Saza at sinabi na hindi ako sasabay sa kanila. Nakita ko sa aking peripheral vision sa bandang kanan na nakatitig lang si Cael sa direksyon ko, nanaman, na parang di maintindihang bato. Nag-babay ako sa kanila at pati na rin kay Cael. Itinaas lang niya ang kanyang ulo, senyales na nag-babay rin siya.

Nakarating na kami sa “InKa”, isa sa mga masasarap na karinderya malapit sa building namin. Di nagtagal ay sumunod si Sid. Nakita kong palakad papunta sa’min. Naka-back-pack, maikli ang buhok, pero mas mahaba ang length kaysa kay Romel (yung buhok parang nakabalot sa kanyang mukha…) Di rin gaanong matangkad pero mas matangkad si Cael sa kanya. Tama lang din ang katawan, medjo maputi at cute ang face niya.

Nakita ako ni Sid at napansin ko na umiba ang kanyang mukha ng Makita niya ako. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at nag-greet sa akin. Nag-greet din ako sa kanya habang kinukuha ko ang pera sa wolet ko. Sa isip-isip ko, ang tanga ko nanaman dahil gusto ko ng sumbatin ang salitang “Sorry Sid!” pero parang may pumipigil.

“Musta?” biglang nagsalita si Sid. Nakatingin siya sa’kin at sa wolet na hinahalungkat ko.

“Okay naman, ayun medjo nakakatulog na” sinabi ko habang medjo natatawa. Natawa rin ng kaunti si Sid.

“Ako nga rin walang tulog. May tinapos akong plate na kailangan bukas. Nagkamali ako kaya inulit ko. Bad trip nga e…” sabi ni Sid habang inayos ang kanyang buhok at tumingin sa kanyang harap.

Tinignan ko si Sid at bigla kong sinumbat ang kanyang pangalan…

Lumingon ulit si Sid sa akin at tinanong niya kung bakit.

Nailabas ko na ang “Sorry Sid!” sa bibig ko. Nasabi ko na ang Sorry na ginusto kong sabihin. Nagtaka ako dahil natawa siya sa sinabi ko. Tinanong niya kung bakit ako nagso-sorry sa kanya.

“E kasi diba? Binabara kita…” sabi ko habang nakatingin sa baba. Nung mga oras na iyon, hindi yata ako tumitingin sa kanya pero napansin ko na tumitingin siya sa akin na parang super attentive niya. “…Bara ako ng bara sa mga jokes mo. Hindi ko talaga sinasadya. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung bakit ko ginawa yun. Hindi naman kasi ako talaga ganon…” Nakatingin na ako sa baba, halatang hindi makatingin sa mga mata ni Sid.

“Okay lang yun!” biglang sabi ni Sid. Tinap nya ako ng dalawang beses sa kanang balikat gamit ang kaliwang kamay niya. Nagtawanan na lang kaming dalawa at sabay kaming nag-order ng makakain.

Naging maayos na ulit kaming dalawa ni Sid. Nagkwentuhan kami ng kung anu-anong mga bagay. Mas marami kaming napag-usapan di tulad nung mga nakaraang mga araw na limitado lang ang mga topics na pinag-usapan.

“Ash…”

May lalaki na tumawag sa likod ko. Nagulat ako kasi nakilala ko ang boses. Boses ni Cael. Lumingon ako agad para Makita, at oo tama ako na si Cael nga. At napatanong ako sa sarili kung ano ang ginagawa niya dito

“Uy! Asan sila Saza, Eloy?” tanong ko

“Ayun, nagka-Counter raw malapit dito e.” sabi ni Cael.

Lumingon bigla si Sid kay Cael “Pare, nga pala, kilala mo si Angie?”

“Uhh.. Oo. Bakit?” sabi ni Cael na parang walang gana. (Pero madalas ganoon siya magsalita…)

“Oo pero sa isang subject lang na minor. Nagulat ako, bigla akong kinausap. Tas tinanong kung kilala ko ba raw ikaw…” banggit ni Sid. Papalit-palit ang tingin ko sa dalawang lalaki na parang nanonood ng Ping-Pong o di kaya Tennis.

“Ahh… Oo nung high school ko sha nakilala,” sabi ni Cael. Napansin ko na parang umiba ang kanyang mukha ng matapos magkwento si Sid. Tinanong ko kay Cael kung sino yung Angie na iyon, at sabi niya friend raw niya tas higher batch raw. Ginusto ko pang mag-fishing ng iba pang impormasyon pero biglang narinig ko ang ringtone ko. May tumatawag pala nung oras na iyon.

Agad kong sinagot at, sa kabilang linya isang boses lalaki. Matagal na ng huli kong narinig ang boses na iyon.

“Kob! Musta?”

Sinabi niya sa’kin na ayus lang siya, pero sa tono ng kanyang boses, nahalata ko na hindi siya O-K. Agad kong tinanong kung anong problema niya pero nagulat ako na nasa school pala siya! Tinatanong niya sa’kin kung san raw kami pwedeng magkita dahil naghihingi ng advice sa’kin tungkol dun sa nililigawan niyang babae na nag-aaral din sa same school pero sa ibang building naman.

Nagulat ako at hindi mapalagay nung mga minu-minutong iyon habang kausap ko si Kob. Bihira lang tumawag itong lalaking ito at bihira lang din magsabi sa akin for advice! Puno ako ng pagtataka pero sinabi ko na lang din sa kanya na pupuntahan ko siya ngayon din.

Nag-sorry ulit ako kay Sid at nagpaalam. Mabuti naman at ok-ok na si Sid at masaya pa siyang kumaway. Nagpaalam din ako sa mga kasama ni Zen at, lastly, kay Cael.

“Sino yun? Boyfriend?” tanong ni Cael

“Hahaha ngek. Si Kob tumawag! Andito raw! Puntahan ko raw, naniniwala ka ba?” sabi ko na patawa’t nakangiti.

“Di ayus lang. Maglalaro pa ako e.” sabi ni Cael.

“Haha o sige. Basta kita-kits nalang mamaya, teks-teks na lang a! Sabihin mo sa kanila may mi-nit lang ako…” sabi ko habang inaayos ang aking lime green shoulder bag.

“Sige…” sabi ni Cael na parang walang gana nanaman. Ngunit sanay na ako sa tonong iyon.

Kumaway na ako kay Cael at kay Sid at sa iba at naglakad na ako ng mabilis para puntahan si Kob.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 07:30:44 GMT

"Celton Park"

I didn't want to leave my discman behind. Even though my friends thought I was shutting them off from the world just bringing it, I felt like I was opening a whole new world by just walking around and listening to my favorite music tracks.

And I still could not forget that firefly I saw the night before.

That certain object rang a bell in my dilirious over-imposed cocoonic shell head as I was walking outside my little home cottage near the town under a autmn afternoon.

I was about to start my daily walk at Celton Park. My favorite stop.

I thought: Look at all the trees... The sun is fair and the sky is glee. It is autumn at the moment, and leaves start to fall." And then, I picked up this dried leaf and placed it in my right palm. I looked at it with wonder, examined all the shades of brown and orange, sulking all the beauty in the tender leaf. It was truly beautiful...

The wind was calm. It was a good thing I wore my worn out denim jacket. Though I wore skirt and boots, I believe it was not appropriate because it was starting to get cold. But then again, I do love a good fashion.

"Sigh* Where is that firefly?" I thought

I was starting to wonder if fireflies came in during the afternoon and not at night time. "Oh what am I thinking?"

"OH NO!" Suddenly I've bumped into this fine gentlemen. I was quite agitated, figuring out whether he was the one who bumped unto me first or the other way around. But then again, it didn't matter. He didn't seem to move from where he was. He...

He was in a state of stare... At my face!

"Is there something in my face, sir?" I had to ask..

Then he suddenly spoke "Oh no, there isn't any. I'm sorry I've must have spaced out for a while there..."

I looked at him in wonder and a bit of a confusing facial expression. But he, then, smiled at me nonetheless which made me more confused.

But in the physicality of his self, he looked quite dashing, really.

His hair was in a fix, blue-eyed, quite tall, wearing a coat. He appeared to be a businessman of some sort. But I wasn't quite sure...

"Are you all right, miss?"

Suddenly I was reminded to pull myself back together. "Yes, I... I am, sir... Forgive me for my blank stare..."

"Oh no, it's all right... I'm sorry, you are?"

He asked for my name! For a second, I could not believe that the situation I was in was suddenly happening! "Uhh..." I wasn't able to address my name clearly.

Then he said "Oh, it's okay. I might seem like some sort of a stranger to you. You should be careful next time, all right?"

I just looked at him, nodded my head and breathed. Fog came out of my mouth. It was really starting to get cold.

He turned his back and left. I felt like I had to call him out. I wanted to talk to that gentleman.

And then I wasn't able to contain myself any longer. I ran towards him and patted him in the left shoulder.

He smiled as he looked at me straight in the face. I told him what my name was and I told him that I was glad that I bumped into him. He smiled again. I always wonder why he smiled. I wanted to tell him that he should stop smiling coz it was blinding my eyes. But ofcourse I was just over-exaggerating.

"I'm Matthew. I'm from Jersey City. I'm currently helping out an old friend here to set up his own BookStore. This pleace is really nice.. Do you live here?"

He started to share all these nice things about him. I felt happy. My confidence boosted up like mad, but not quite. Just right. I told him that I lived in a small cottage a few blocks before Town and that I was studying in a University quite far from where I stayed.

He seemed really interested because he was listening to me like I had something special to say. It was a nice feeling.

And then he had to put the conversation into anabrupt end. "I'm sorry, it's getting late. I still have to meet my old pal. They are constructing the place for his Store. I'll see you again some time. I might be staying here for a couple of months or so!" He smiled again, his never ending antic that blinds my delicate eyes.

"See you, Jessie." he said.

I waved goodbye.

I sat in one of the benches and pressed the play button of my discman. The sounds of the guitar are beautiful and the singing was superb.

My day was authentic.

And I wonder what I will cook for supper?

Friday, May 27, 2005

Fri, 27 May 2005 06:45:45 GMT

This Girl in Some Room

I was in my room. All was dark and shady. My friends were also inside the room, sleeping. And as for me, I was lying down in my bed, staring at the darkness while the music in my discman played endlessly...

And then I saw something shining, sparkling, blinking...

That single light green speck flashing brightly in the dark oblivion I was gazing through... It was as if I were in space but with only a single star shinging so elegnatly... Light green in color, it blinked momentously, joyfully with glee. I felt awestruck and also frightened.

I felt I was alone. All was dark.

The music was still playing.

It was as if I were in a different place...

For a second I thought I wasn't in my world anymore.

Though it felt quite nice. It was like I found a spark of hope...

Through that single spark of light...

...

My firefly.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 04:17:42 GMT

Subject Online Hook-Up

Wednesday night, 13th of May 2007. I finished work late coz I still had to encode some important files. Afterwards, I told myself I'd spend five to ten minutes checking my mail and my friend accounts.

"Oh boy, 24 messages? Ya gotta be kidding me..." I said. I was checking my Yahoo mail, quite exasperated coz I wanted to go home. I thought I couldn't view all the messages so I decided to just read only the interesting ones.

"Okay... Most of these mails are going to the trash!" I said while checking the bulk mails that were cluttering up my inbox. I was too fast in checking, I wasn't so sure anymore if I chose the right mail to erase. Then suddenly, I looked at the computer and saw that I had a Myspace mail alert telling me I had a message waiting on the Inbox. I tried to find out who sent it, and realized that it was from a stranger.

"Hmm... Might be some guy trying to get to know me better... Again." but I told that to myself with a, sort-of, common, boring mood. You see, at that time, I was already used to strangers emailing me and sharing their heart-filled wishes of "Hey you look great on that pic, can I know you better?". Though most guys who email me don't look that attractive so I just shut them off. Plus, I never trusted online jitters, considering the news I've been hearing about young girls getting kidnapped or raped. Totally gives me the creeps.

Anyway. I still opened that mail coz, somehow, I felt curious. I'm always curious!

"Hey, Mal, I'm gonna be off now. You know how to lock up right?" my secretary/friend, Sheryl, called out. I gave her a blank "Okay" coz my eyes were fixated on the computer monitor.

I was already on my Myspace inbox and to my utmost pry, the mail turned out to be the most unique one I've received. Here, I'm actually gonna place it here.

Subject: ...

Far away, circuits on... I see a face in the oblivion... It warms my body for a second. The unknown air of life, I breathe it...

So intimidating in a single stare... I'm obliged to exaggerate. It'd be hard to negotiate that lucky charm you got.

Nice... Is this just the scene? Neat... Must this be a scenario? I'd be the one flying in to you. For a second it may or not.

Dreams might grow. True enough… They're real after all.

Nice pic. and by the way, I made this one out of it... You seem very interesting....

I felt awe-struck. The poem was deep and it was totally awesome. I loved it! Though, I tried my very best not to get my hopes high even though I was SO drop dead head over heels toward the poem.

"Let us take a look what he looks like!" I said unpredictably clicking at his account. And then I saw it.

His name was Seth… And he wasn't so bad after all!

I looked at his picture really carefully and looked at his other pictures and it turned out that he was actually my type! He had lengthy hair, kind of wavy but short. His hair color was that of brunette brown. Sorry, I'm not quite good at men hairstyles. Then, he had a fair complexion. He had quite thick eyebrows, firm lips. He was thin but not skinny thin, just right thin. And, most especially, he had the most remarkable pair of green eyes, they were like these pair of luminous glow in the dark receptors! I was awed, totally. I crave for guys who have nice eyes especially the glaring ones I see on American TV shows. He actually had those pair of eyes like those on TV (unless he wore contacts, how stupid could he be if he ever did that..) I actually thought that he could actually be qualified for a Prime Time TV show!

"He's hot, but then, I just don't know him!" Though I was so excited and my heart began to pounce, I had to tell myself that this may not go too well. So I regarded my limits and maintained calm and not act all optimistic. So I thought of replying to him. Here I will place it.

Hi there, thanks for dropping me a message. I appreciated the poem so much and I might as well believe that the poem wasn't meant for 'my' picture image. Hehe. Uhhhhmm..... Anyway, thanks so much and yeah, hope to get to know you better. Till then! :) --Magdalynne

After sending the message, I shut the computer off and locked up. I was too anxious to eat dinner at my apartment.

“Sheesh, I’m hungry…”

I never imagined that I'd receive such an unexpected email with a poem. And, at that time, just thinking about the guy who sent it to me, I felt somewhat inferior, coz I felt ugly and had no match for him. I tried to forget about the whole Myspace incident though it just seemed endless. In the most peculiar way, it just kept on coming…

Friday, 15th of May 2007. It was lunch time. I was about to go down and grab a salad when I received, yet again, a mail from Seth. My heart leaped! I actually had Goosebumps all over my arms. But then again I tried to behave.

I read his reply and it here I will place it:

Hey,your welcome. I see you're from Philippines. I'm in Manila right now coz my mom has some work goin around here, so im here for a year or maybe more. So far this country's okay. Miss pennsylvania,though. My mom wants me to get a job here. still thinking about it. i dunno why i'm emailing you. i must be bored. like i said, you seem pretty interesting. wanna meet up? it's okay if you don't. thanks.

I felt somewhat bothered by his mail. I didn't know why.

"Why is he sharing all these stuff to me? And he wants to meet me??" I thought. I was, again, backtracking on the disadvantages of getting involved with men on the net. I felt bothered. But somehow, I felt excited at the same time. I had so many thoughts whirling around my head back then.

And so I ended up replying to his email, anyway. And here it was:

Oh really? I'm living in Manila. I am currently working at a furniture business (pretty boring huh) but it's just a part time thing. I'll be on a filming firm soon (hopefully..) meeting up? hmm wow that's fast. i'm not quite comfortable with that approach. i'm sorry. you seem like a nice person, but I have to think about it. Thanks again for the poem. I thought it was deeply moving. :) -- Magdalynne

When I clicked the "sent" button, I actually realized how stupid I was to click it at a deliberate instant. I wanted to say more or maybe change some ill-mannered words. I just hoped he replied coz I thought I said some not too synthesizing statements.

“I think I was too rude... OH, DOESN'T MATTER! I had to tell those things to him. Ugh… I’m confused…”

While I was eating lunch with my friends, I told them about my email encounter with a cute stranger, Seth.

I actually printed one of his nicer pics and showed it to my friends. Well, obviously and by design, they shrieked in excitement. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO LUCKY!! Can I date him instead?" said Megan. Annie was also excited. But of course they didn't disregard the precautionary measures of Online Mates.

They told me that it was a cool thing and I had to meet him while they tagged along with me. Or if I didn't want any company, they'll just act as spies and look at us from a distance and contact me on my phone if they see or feel anything suspicious. They said it would be much safer that way.

I told them that I’d be okay if I made it on my own, but thanked them for their hospitality. I felt happy that they were such caring ‘officemate-slash-friends’ even though I met them for less than two weeks or so. Megan and Annie are the best.

Right after lunch, I went back to my typing spree. It was back to work when I found out that Seth replied. I could sense that he didn't have anything to do at home. Anyway, I clicked the "Home" button and saw that I had 1 new mail. My very untamed heart started jumping up and down, totally felt ecstatic and scared. Here was Seth's reply:

hahaha.i see youre freaked out by online hooligans. its okay.. i read your profile and found out that i live near the building as to where you work (creepy huh?don't worry im no stalker). i had to ask my mom where your building was and she told me all. theres a starbucks cafe patio right upfront the building rigth? if you're still interested, we can meet there. i'm still in on getting to know your presonality.haha thanks.

I felt like I wanted to scream and be frightened at the same time.

"Why is he saying all these??" I showed my friends the email, and they were like, all happy for me instead. When I showed them more pics of him, they just kept on shaking my back like a bean bag. They made me feel dizzy all right. Yes I already get the point, my friends: You want me to do this date!

"Oh he's cute, though I don't like the grunge look." said Annie. She was a preppy girl so she wasn't that used to guys who were not that 'clean'. I could tell that Seth was kind of like a simple yet deep-seated fellow coz he just wore a shirt and jeans and like 'not-a-care-in-the-world' type of fashion statement. But then it actually looked kind of 'dashing' and 'mystical'. I tried my very best to get back to work, but my hands were itching to reply.

And yes I gave in to the itch. I had to reply. Here was what I had to say:

Okay. I will meet you then. But I hope you're not a mean person who does stupid stuff. I'm sorry I can be delusional sometimes. Ugh. But okay I'll meet you. Tomorrow? This weeK? thanks. --Magdalynne P.S. still love the poem. :)

I had to let some of my emotions soar through my reply. And good thing it turned out well. We set the date. He suggested May 21, Thursday. I told him we'd meet up in the afternoon coz my work would end up until 12. I felt so excited and scared at the same. But more excited nonetheless. I was about to meet an extraordinary American waste too sweet to comprehend. In my eerie perception of feeling, I felt so good.

It was Thursday, May 21 2007. Before I went to the office, I brought my make up kit so that at least I wouldn't look like a sweating mandrill after work. I fixed my hair as best as I could and brought jeans and a shirt so I could change afterwards.

Minutes, hours passed and, for all I knew, it was almost 12. I left work at around 11:30 so that I could prep up myself for my date. I felt so nervous. It reminded me so much of my soiree days during high school.

“This is much freakier than soiree…”

After fixing myself, I sent Seth an Sms message. Oh yes, he had a phone with him so it was better for me to reach him. He gave me his number along with the dating details on his last message. I asked him where he was and he told me he was already there. So I felt more panicky.

My hands were all shaky. I kept combing my hair with the use of my fingers. My friends saw me in a paranoid state so they rushed instantaneously like sports athletes aiming to calm my whole system.

"C'mon relax or you might screw up!" said Katty in a jokingly manner. I asked them to wish me good luck and I went down the elevator on my way to the Starbucks cafe in front of Tower Abres Building where I was working.

Not long enough I reached the patio of the Cafe.

I was looking hard for him. I couldn’t see where he was when a voice beckoned from behind. Someone called out my name!

"Magdalynne.."

I actually froze.

I looked at my back to see who it was.

And to my amazement, it WAS none other than Seth.

He was actually there and I could not believe it.

He was standing and he was smiling! He was wearing a gray shirt, kind of faded, and some khaki shorts and sneakers. I thought his grunge wardrobe looked self-confidently attractive.

"You're Magdalynne right?" he asked. Goosebumps grew out off my arms.

"Yeah I am! You're Seth right?" I realized I asked the dumbest question. I felt so nervous, that was why. But he just laughed and shook my hand.

"Yup, that guy's me!" I noticed he had soft hands and I was rapt by it.

He was so adorable. I never predicted that, when we’d talk, I'd actually have a very comforting, interesting and cheery conversation with Seth! Before the date, I had a scenario in my head: I screwing up, and he'll just get pissed and get disappointed at my behavior. But NO he was SO open-minded and was so charming. And when it was my turn to talk, he’d just listen as if he was really interested in what I had to say. I felt like I knew him already for a lot of years when we talk. We were both comfortable with each other and we had a normal but out of the ordinary day.

Though at the back of my head, I was keeping my mind open and wasn't letting any expectation ruin my friendly relationship with Seth. I was thinking that maybe we could hook up but I was also thinking not to expect coz it happened to me before when I was way back in college. When I was talking to Seth, the first thing I told myself was that "He's just being friendly, and that's all. He's talking to me for company not for 'beyond friendship matters'." It was a nice experience. We talked for hours. We ate dinner together at a pizza place and then he wanted to check out the apartment where I was living. We were on our way.

"You're so straight forward..." I said to him.

He grinned "What?"

"Well, American guys say to girls that they like her right then and there. Most guys here seldom do that. There was a time when I was in college, I noticed that guys here are not that frank when it comes to what they feel about girls. Then I realized that guys were just not too vocal about it. Though I just tried my best to understand them and accepted it." I explained to him. Seth was such a good listener. Whenever I had to say something, he'd just be quite and listen to me. I thought that what he said on the mail was true. He WAS really interested in getting to know me.

"That sucks. Philippine guys.." he said laughing. I punched him lightly in the arm, I didn’t know why. He asked me if Philippine women love to punch guys in the arm and I told him most women all over the world do that. We laughed.

"Why, you tell me I’m straight forward?" asked Seth.

"Well, yeah. In fact, you're fine! I kinda like it. I guess I'm just not used to the fact that guys are straight forward. For years, I've been dealing with guys who had so much difficulty in expressing how they felt. They won't say a word! Until I realized that they just weren't interested. Until I realized that I end up getting all confused..." I felt down that moment and stupid at the same time. I felt like I got all emotional, thus, ending up blabbering away.

But Seth grinned like he used to do.

We were still walking. Hands in his pockets, he was kicking the pebbles that got in his way. Then he went quite closer beside me. I forgot to tell you that he has this amazing manly scent. I couldn't figure out what perfume he was using. I wanted to ask him at that time but I was too shy.

"Thanks for the company. I really appreciate it!" said Seth looking at me with a charming smile. I smiled too and looked away coz I felt kind of sad afterwards. I was then thinking: 'I knew it, it was just for company. Yeah I was expecting that..'

But then he said "We should do this more often. I dunno..."

I felt puzzled. He said he wanted to do the thing we were doing more often? But then I just listened to what he was going to say to me.

"When I first saw your image on Myspace, I really liked you at that time and I had the urge to get to know you. You seem pretty interesting. I guess I was too tired of blondes and brunettes or tired of seeing the same people. Not sure..." said Seth doing his very best to explain what he felt.

"I dunno what to say..." I said kind of having a worried look. I was hoping that I didn't say any not-so-nice words.

He sat on the bench. We arrived at the park. It was not far from my place. He sat down and I sat on his left side beside him, though a few inches of distance. I was feeling shy.

"By the way, Seth, I really really love the poem you gave me. I'm not kidding!" I said really convincing him that I was sincere. He laughed and said some jokes. For the past time that we talked, he would also joke around. And good thing I got his jokes. I'm quite of a slow person, not being able to get the jokes right away. But I dunno at that time I was laughing at his comic humor. Maybe I was too attracted to the guy, but nevertheless, I find his jokes funny.

"Well thanks. I'm happy you liked it." he said nodding his head appearing all gentlemanly. I slapped him lightly on his shoulders and cried a slight 'Ouch!'. He was insisting that I slapped his shoulder a little bit harder, but I refused to believe coz I knew it was just a mere tap. But then again he just loved the whole joke concept.

Then he told me that he'll make me more poems and I just waggled my head and said 'Thank you.'

Then we talked about music once more and we also talked about his band. He shared to me that he had a band in Pennsylvania. He was the bassist. But since he was here in Manila, his brother was taking his place. Though the nice thing was that he was still content coz even though he was with them at that moment, he was happy that the band was still intact. He would also send some poems to them and lately received a mail that they were coming up with some songs and hopefully they'll let Seth hear it.

"I sent the poem I made you. Hope they put some melody in it..." he said

"Oh... That would be pretty awesome..." I said right away, with my eyes wide and twitching my eyebrows up and down.

"I don't even know why I made a poem or lyric out of your image. Haha!" said Seth grinning. He looked at me and smiled. I kind of blushed and looked away so as to hide the embarrassment. "But then again I was just interested in ya!" he said

I noticed that he wanted to hold my hand, but he was hesitating not to, so he forgot all about that plan and said "Gee I feel like a Filipino guy.."

I felt puzzled for a split second then I grinned "No... You're starting to become a dear friend of mine! Thank you Seth. Thank you! Thank you!" I said while shaking his shoulder back and forth. He was laughing and saying 'You're welcome' in a shaky tone as well.

He then stood up coz he told me he had to go home soon. He dropped me off my place and he shook my hand. "I really enjoyed your company." he said yet again.

"Haha! You've been saying that for ten gazillion times! But, uhm. Welcome. And I DO want to do this more often! Really!" I said straight away.

He smiled "Me too. Me too."

We said our farewells. He told me that he wanted to hang out more often and I should bring my friends next time. And also he'd introduce me to his friends too. And also (he seemed to have a lot of requests but I just nodded my head and smiled..) he wanted to hang out in my house so that he could quote/unquote 'sabotage' the place. I just laughed coz I was too tired to slap him in the arm. And then right afterwards, I went inside my cozy apartment and went to my room to change.

While I was changing, I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to get an email from Seth. I mean, I thought that there were A LOT of women who were prettier and charming than me. But then he was interested in me. I thought that, in the future, time will soon pass and then he'll grow tired of me. But then I also thought that nothing lasts forever and that I should just be happy and live the present moment without anxieties and expectations.

After changing in to my pajamas, I got an SMS message. It was from Seth. I thought he was gonna say "I enjoyed your company" or anything of the sort, but he said instead:

Magdalynne! Thank you for the company. And I hope we see each other soon. Take care then! Seth

I felt so relieved, especially the "Take Care" part. Even though I knew nothing lasts forever and perfection in life is impossible, I just focused on what I was feeling at the moment. He said 'Take Care' and that's all I needed.

When I went to bed, I still looked at my phone until I fell asleep still thinking about the wonderful day I had. Questions lingered in my head. It bothered me, yes. But I just thought of positive things.

Seth was my friend. He needed company, and I responded by giving him what he wanted. Yes I felt something. Though I’m not expecting. I’m just there…

And I think, for me, it feels absolutely great: Be there for that someone and forgetting yourself. It’s fun! And since then, I reaped the best of benefits.

Life is so ironic. Who would have imagined that letting go could turn into a blessing in disguise?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 10:06:00 GMT

“ Less Ordinary! ”

CHAPTER II

Jiro was busy painting another one of his so-called “Masterpiece”. He decided to make his own version of Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. He was still trying to figure out how he’d be able to manage it.

Suddenly, the door opened. “Oi, Jiro-san. Obuki-sensei wishes to congratulate you for winning the 1^st prize at the last competition! A job well done, man!” said Akio, one of Jiro’s classmates.

“Yeah, yeah…” said Jiro sluggishly. Akio closed the door.

Didn’t they read the sign outside the classroom? ‘Don’t Disturb’? thought Jiro. He didn’t want any visitors or distractions once he started on a painting. He enjoys the pleasure of being alone and once he gets pissed, he really flames like a bull.

It took him four or so hours to finish half of the painting he was making. It was six in the evening and he decided to call it a day. He packed his things and placed it in his bag. He went out of the classroom and locked it. He then went to the office to give the key back to the officers in charge. Then, he went out of the school building to head home.

“Konbanwa Matsumoto Jiro!” said a voice from afar.

Oh no, another one of those obnoxious women thought Jiro. He was too eager to get home and he didn’t want to talk and prolong the time. His only desire was to reach his home early and eat and then sleep.

“Yeah what is it?” said Jiro trying to be patient. Though his eyes looked sleepy and apathetic.

“I hope I’m not irritating you in any way.” Said a perky young high school look-a-like girl with pigtails and pink ribbons. “…But anyway I’d just like to say… Well… The moment I saw you…”

“Uhh, are you trying to tell me that you either like me or you had a crush on me or you want me to be your boyfriend? Coz if it’s related to the things I’ve mentioned, well I’d have to think about that. Right now I wanna go home and eat some bento, have miso soup and sleep early.” Said Jiro right away. The perky girl eyed at Jiro, shocked at his response.

“Wow, I wasn’t even finished. Boy, you can be so rude…” said the girl. “You’re cute and so irresistible, but you’re SO SO SO SO…”

“Yeah I’ve heard that a couple of times and I like it. Okay? So I’ll just talk to you tomorrow coz right now I want to go home. Okay? Do you get it?” said Jiro starting to turn his back and walk home

“You always say we’d talk tomorrow but you always ignore me like some paper you can crumple any time. All you have to say is whether you’re interested in me or not!” said the girl, demanding his attention. Somehow her perkiness slowly vanished and became like a child desperate for a lollipop.

Jiro turned around and didn’t face the girl. “I’m not interested in anything…”

“So you’re not interested in me?” asked the girl.

There was a long pause…

Then, Jiro sighed. “Yeah I guess so…”

The girl frowned and then suddenly, she cried. She ran as fast as she could. Jiro, on the other hand, continued on walking. He could still here the girl’s innocent cry.

Then he thought while he started to walk Another broken-hearted victim thanks to me…Bunch of dumb-ass…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It took him fifteen or so minutes before he could reach home. And then he arrived at an old, small house with a small steel gate. It was covered with vines and the whole lot appeared to be somewhat haunted and enchanting at the same time. The house was his grandmother’s. After her death, his parents decided that Jiro should stay in the house. His parents, also, wanted to rent the rooms, but Jiro refused because he always hated the nuisance and just adored being alone.

He opened the light and swung his jacket towards the sofa. The house was filled with newspapers and rice boxes that were a more or less a week old. He never bothered to clean the mess up due to laziness. He went to his room, took off his clothes and headed towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.

After fourty-five or so minutes, he finally got out of the bathroom. He changed in to some drier clothes and made his way towards the small living room to watch television. As he sat down, he heard a crackling noise. He looked at the portion where he sat and he noticed an unopened bag of chips. Right away, he got it, opened it and started eating it while watching.

“Darn, I forgot to by dinner in the store…” said Jiro while slothfully eating the chips and watching the TV like a modern aged zombie.

He watched tirelessly for two hours straight. Upon the brink of sleepiness, he closed the TV and went to his room to get some peaceful sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“MATSUMOTO JIRO WA DOKO DA???” yelled Yaguchi-sensei.

It was eight in the morning at Sorakima University. Yaguchi-sensei grew impatient upon seeing the unfinished painting inside the classroom where Jiro was working.

“Sigh* He told me he’d be finished by today, and here I am standing in front of his unfinished work! Now how the heck are we going to submit this piece to the Akizawa Museum, eh?” said Yaguchi-sensei wiping the perspiration from his forehead with the use of his hanky.

“Sensei, he’ll be here in no time. You see, he did his best to finish it, but, well, I am confident, sir, that we’d be able to submit this work of art by today!” said Chou.

Yamada Chou is a classmate of Jiro and is one of his trusted friends. He’s one of the ‘nerds’ in class for being a straight ‘A’ student. Yet even though he’s smart, he’s got outwardly enticing looks that make girls go gaga over him.

“Sigh* I guess I just got carried away. I do hope he would be able to finish the piece. It would be a nice parting gift to consider this University as the best Art University. Plus, also, the cash itself can be a nice thing to have as well!” said Yaguchi-sensei. “We need more facilities! We need more buildings for more courses! We need funds! Oh it would be a joy to win the 1^st prize, again!” Said the healthy-looking professor. He was starting to imagine all the possibilities of winning the grand prize in the Painting Contest sponsored by the Akizawa Museum. Chou grinned.

“I’ll be right back, sensei. I’ll just make a quick phone call.” Said Chou. Yaguchi-sensei nodded and Chou went out of the room.

Chou got his small colored phone and searched for Jiro’s number. Then he pressed the ‘Call’ button right away and waited for an answer.

“H-Hello?” said a sleepy voice on the other side of the line

“Jiro! Chou here. What the heck? Man, don’t tell me you’re still sleeping. You gotta finish the painting now. Sensei’s going nuts right now. He’s counting on you, you know…” said Chou half whispering while fixing his glasses properly.

“Oh yeah, right. I’ll be on my way. Tell him to wait for, like, three hours coz I still have a lot of cleaning to do…”

“Aw c’mon Jiro! You can fix that later! You gotta get here right away!” said Chou almost shouting but still trying his very best to stay calm and speak in a whisper

“All right! All right! I was just kidding. Hehe… Be there in fifteen minutes.” Said Jiro half asleep and he hang up.

“Darn, he’d better be here in fifteen minutes…” said Chou to himself. He placed his phone right back in his left pocket and as soon as he was about to go back inside, someone called him from afar.

“Chou!” said the same perky girl Jiro encountered the night before. Her name was Naoko and she paid close attention to Jiro ever since the first day of classes.

“Naoko-san.” Said Chou with a smile.

“How rude can he get???” said Naoko, slightly fuming with anger. Her fists were hardening and she was stomping her feet like a little girl.

“Nani?” asked Chou

“Jiro-san! I dunno what to do with him! I’m crazy in love with him but he’s shutting me off!” said Naoko. She was hoping that Chou would give a good explanation as to why Jiro was doing those things to her. Chou scratched his head.

“Well you see, I have no business telling people what to do. I’ve got other things to settle, so I suggest…” said Chou. He wanted to let Naoko know that he was ending a statement and he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Please. I know that Jiro’s a friend of yours. Just tell me what I need to know…” said Naoko almost begging.

Chou sighed. “Oh all right. Here. He loves to be alone, okay? Maybe you should keep distance for a while. He doesn’t like being around with people at this time. Maybe he’s got some issues. But we don’t know that for sure. I suggest you just give him time to relax and calm down. And I promise, I’ll let you know if he’s approachable again. He’s just got some hang-ups. I’m sure he’ll come around in time…” Chou explained in a calm but fast manner. Naoko thought deeply. She seemed to have registered every word that Chou said.

“All right. Well, you’d better let me know right away if he’s back to normal okay? Coz I want to get to know him better! If you know what I mean…” said Naoko pointing a finger at Chou

“Ahaha! Of course!” said Chou smiling as he saw Naoko run away.

“Ahaha, that is if I remember…” said Chou. It appears that he said the same explanation to five girls who had the same admiration towards Jiro.

“What a lousy heart throb…” said Chou giggling.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“HEY! WATCH WHERE YER GOIN’ PUNK!!” yelled Jiro. A school boy hit him in the back coz the boy was being chased by some bullies. Jiro wanted to pick a fight with the young tyrants but he had to reach the school right away. He could imagine the look on Yaguchi-sensei’s perspiring face as he impatiently rants about oblivious undertakings.

Then he reached the fourth floor where his working room was. He opened the room and saw Yaguchi-san wiping off the perspiration from his neck and Chou gazing at the window, serious in his debonair look. Upon opening the door, both jumped and greeted Jiro right away.

“Thank GOODNESS you’re here! Do you want me to bring you breakfast?” said Yaguchi-san trying to make Jiro feel relaxed. Jiro lifted an eyebrow at Yaguchi-sensei and looked at him incongruously. “I’m sorry, lad. You know how much that contest is important in the reputation of the school right? Well… Sigh, if you are not interested, again, then you can just say so…” said Yaguchi-sensei with his head slowly bowing down in dismay.

Jiro laughed. “HAHA! Nah sensei! I was just playing around!” said Jiro in a sudden shift of facial reaction. He slightly punched Yaguchi-san in his right fat arm. Yaguchi-san just laughed. “Yep! I AM going to finish that piece of shit right now! And yeah, I haven’t eaten any breakfast coz that darn Chou called me up, demanding again, as usual. BUT WORRY NO MORE guys. Give me an hour and I’ll make this darn thing better than Da Vinci’s.” Jiro chortled an evil grin and went to his seat to start opening the oil paint and was fixing his brushes.

“Oh! Oh! All right. I’ll be right back with your breakfast, lad.” Said Yaguchi-san and he went out of the room at an instant.

Chou, then, went towards Jiro, eyeing at him. “You sure know how to get their sympathy…”

Jiro grinned as he started to paint.

“Oh by the way, Naoko approached me asking why you were ‘shutting her off’,” said Chou smiling with mocking pursuits

“Who’s Naoko?” asked Jiro who was busy painting.

“Naoko, the girl who’s got an altar filled with your pictures. The girl who dreams she and you’d get married someday. The girl who came to you last night I think…”

“Oh that freak…” said Jiro irritably.

“Yeah she’s a freak to you but she’s a person who demands respect in any way. Why don’t you try being friendly once in a while?” said Chou trying to convince something to him but it seems he was just ignoring it. “Or not…” he gave up on the ‘convincing’ plan, though.

There was a two-minute silence. Afterwards, Jiro spoke.

“I hate girls coz, I know, they’ll break and break my heart over and over again. They’re all the same. And they’re irritating! They’re like stupid faggots!” said Jiro with a sudden rise of tone.

Chou didn’t say a word. He knew he had a point. Though he wanted to justify on that current subject, doing that would make Jiro boil up like lava.

“Girls… They can be fairies in a dreamland. They make you happy, they make you feel different…” said Jiro. He was painting the background. “But everything doesn’t last forever. So why mingle in the so-called dreamland if it will soon fade?”

Chou sighed. He gave up once more in trying to convince Jiro.

“You just tell them what you usually tell the other girls. I hope they all understand how much I hate them right now. I know it’s not their fault. I just don’t want to get hurt again…” said Jiro.

“I guess I’m just… Running away from sorrow…”

Suddenly his face changed into a person who was sad and had a life of hopelessness and despair. Chou frowned and went towards the window. Somehow, Chou felt Jiro’s grief and he couldn’t help but feel the same thing.

“Hehe, anyway. What are you gonna do today man!” asked Jiro at Chou, changing the subject.

“I’m… I’m planning to return the books I borrowed. Then afterwards go with you and Yaguchi-san in bringing the painting to the museum.” Said Chou trying to be confident in replying.

“Oh I see…” said Jiro removing the red paint off the brush and mixing another color.

Suddenly, the door swung open. Both thought it was Yaguchi-san though they were mistaken. Jiro didn’t see the person come in because he was busy, but Chou did.

“Excuse me, is this Matsumoto-san’s working place? Yaguchi-sensei asked me to bring this food to him…” said a girl with a sweet yet assertive voice. She had a pale complexion and had a very long slightly wavy hair.

Jiro answered but was still eyeing on the piece. “Yeah I’m Matsumoto all right. Just leave the food in the table near the shelf.” Said Jiro placing a brush on his mouth, very much concentrated on his work. The girl went to the table and placed the food. She, then, looked at Chou and smiled. Chou, on the other hand, was awestruck by what he saw: The most enigmatic face in the whole university. Chou fixed his glasses and tried to fix his hair.

Then the girl suddenly recognized Chou and could not help but react. “Hey! I know you!”

Chou was shocked.

“I know you! Chou-kun? We were classmates during High School! We used to sit together in class coz I needed help in math. Well, up to now I’m doing my best to excel in that subject…” said the girl laughing. She was approaching Chou who was trying to remember the girl.

Then in no time, Chou remembered.

Her name was Kaneshima Sara, and she used to have short hair during their high school years and she used to be chubby as well. Chou had a hard time recognizing Sara because it appeared that she lost a lot of weight.

“You… You lost a lot of weight?” asked Chou in a mere stun.

Sara laughed. “Yeah. I got sick few years ago after leaving high school. Pretty bad huh? I got this seemingly dreadful virus and I got hospitalized for a month! Since that incident, the fat in my body slowly vanished. And here I am, thin…” said Sara showing off her stature with a smile. “Oh it’s a long novel. Haha!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just totally speechless. Wow. It’s been a LONG time since we last saw each other.” Said Chou fixing his glasses again. “Geesh Sara. You sure changed physically!”

“I KNOW! I can’t believe it either. Even my hair zoomed long like a, like a, I DUNNO! HAHA!” said Sara bursting into cheery amusement.

“Girls…” Jiro beckoned unpredictably.

Sara and Chou looked at the concentrated painter who was stiffly fixing the edges of the background.

“Why don’t we talk outside. I forgot, Jiro doesn’t like to be disturbed when he’s in the ‘brink’ of a ‘tour de force’” explained Chou.

“No, actually. I think I want to stay and ask this young painter what he thinks about the subject he just summoned!” said Sara observing Jiro meticulously. She slowly brushed her long dark flowing hair with her hands.

“I have no time talking to people right now. And yeah it can be obvious that I’m irritated with girls. So don’t you at least have a clue?” said Jiro in an understatement.

Sara giggled sweetly. Chou felt kind of bothered and slightly mad coz he was being rude again.

“Well, you’re not the only guy who hates girls, but don’t you think it’s boring just hating them?” said Sara

“Hey lady, I said I don’t have time talk…” Jiro was unable to continue what he was about to say as soon as he saw the face of what seemed like an angel brought down by heaven. Sara’s hair glowed like a saint and her pale complexion shined throughout the room. Jiro was speechless.

“You were saying?” said Sara.

Jiro was still eyeing at the girl in front of him, Sara. It seemed like the sight of what appeared to be an unknown yet enchanting specimen hypnotized him. He was rapt and couldn’t say a word.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 03:35:46 GMT

“ Less Ordinary! ”

CHAPTER I

It was morning and Nomi had to go to school. Everywhere she went, she would always bring her pet cat Kuroryo. Kuroryo was the Japanese word for Panther. She was always attached to her cat and she would not let anything bad happen to Kuroryo. Sometimes she would carry him in her arms, sometimes he would walk alongside with her, or sometimes he would just stay inside Nomi’s backpack purring sweetly and enjoying each other’s company.

“Oh no, I hope I get to school on time!”, Nomi was running as fast as she could. She thought she woke up late so she was trying her best to get to school quickly.

“Meow!”, Kuroryo purred gently scratching Nomi’s backpack.

“Hai, Kuro-chan! Do you think I won’t be late today?”, she smiled while asking the clever cat

“Meow!” Kuroryo replied

“Ah, yokatta desu! Well if you say I’m not going to be late, then I won’t be late!” She ran happily with a vibrant smile on her face as she approached the gates of Sorakima High School.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The teacher entered class 2-B. As the teacher was about to say ‘Good Morning’ to her students, the door suddenly swung open.

“Yatta! Gomen nasai, Okide sensei…”, Nomi apologized to the teacher

“Ah, Nomi-san. Don’t worry, I just came in so you’re not late.” Okide-sensei said smiling. Nomi went to her seat. “Now, good morning class!”

“Good morning sensei.” The class chorused

“Have a seat, have a seat,” said Okide-sensei and the class discussion started.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was then three in the afternoon and class was dismissed.

Nomi and Kuroryo were in a bench sitting cozily under a shady tree. Nomi got a sandwich from her bag and got out some cat biscuits for Kuroryo.

“There you go, Kuro-chan. I know you’re hungry, again,” said Nomi smiling and giggling at Kuroryo while she pats him in the head. Kuroryo gives a satisfying ‘Meow!’

Just then, while Nomi was halfway through her sandwich, she saw someone walking towards her. She paused upon gazing at a pair of leather shoes. She slowly lifted her head up to see who it was.

“Ah, Katsuzu-san. Konnichiwa…”

Katsuzu Shiro, was a junior and was one of the heart throbs and the smartest in Sorakima High School. He had a slender body and had soft, dark-bluish hair shade. His complexion was light and his eyes were green.

“Konnichiwa… Nomi-san…” he said in a bit of shy manner

“Ne! You know me? That is quite surprising. We don’t get to talk that much. How did you know my name?” said Nomi smiling with amazement while chewing

“Well… Sorry if I surprised you. Sometimes I pass by and see you, then I hear your friends call you by your name, so I guess that’s it…” said Shiro placing his hands on his pockets

Nomi thought that she didn’t have any friends, except those in class. But still she knew he was making it all up to catch her attention. “Ah sodes’ka? Well I guess It’s no surprise that I know you by your name. You’re so popular here in school, no doubt about that!” said Nomi being frienfly.

“Oh that… Sigh, I guess I am known for my weirdness.” said Shiro half-jokingly. Nomi giggles. Kuroryo purrs.

“Oh you have a pet cat! Neat…” said Shiro. He walked towards the cat. Kuroryo looks at Shiro with wonder, cat eyes wide open.

“Ahaha! His name is Kuroryo! You can sense why I called him that. Ne, Kuro-chan?” said Nomi lifting Kuroryo and playing with him.

“Yeah, he’s quite similar to that of a Panther, I should say. His eyes are very luminous of the sort, like ice blue!” said Shiro looking closely at the purring cat. Kuroryo purrs ostentatiously.

“Haha yeah. Even I get mesmerized by just looking at him in the eye.” Said Nomi

Shiro sat beside Nomi and Kuroryo. Then they were starting up a conversation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was 4 in the afternoon.

Nomi and Shiro were walking. Kuroryo was jumping around the walls playing and scratching at the posts.

“So tell me, what do you do during your spare time?” Shiro asks Nomi. They were walking in Someh Park. It was a forest-like park with lots of tall trees and beautiful flowers that surrounded the path walk. Children were playing and people had fun reading their newspapers and sipping their coffee.

Nomi felt a little awkward with Shiro’s question. He just knew him for a day and here he was getting to know her better.

“Spare time, hmm let me see. Well, I guess I stay at home and read books or watch TV with Kuro-chan. Make some phone calls or maybe publish a page in my website,” said Nomi who still answered his question trying not to appear doubtful.

“Cool.” Said Shiro.

“Are you trying to get to know me better?” said Nomi suddenly. Then she realized she asked very abruptly so she looked down and tried to hide her face out of deliberate shame. Shiro stared at her, trying to figure out why she suddenly asked that. “I’m… I’m sorry, that was so rude…”

Shiro suddenly giggled. Nomi blushed coz she was sort of humiliated and at the same time bedazzled by Shiro’s natural joy.

Then Shiro sighed. “I don’t know either. I just felt like talking to you today.”

They were out of the park and reached the train station. They sat in one of the benches outside the ticket booth.

“You seem to be a pretty nice person. And you’re not like other girls frolicking around. I guess that asset of yours caught my attention. I really don’t know…” he giggled again and then he brushed his hair with his hand.

Nomi didn’t quite understood where he was getting at, but she agreed by nodding and smiling.

“Hey, would you like anything to eat?” asked Shiro

“Uhm…” said Nomi thinking really hard. Shiro giggled again. Nomi thought his laugh was the best part of his whole self so she blushed again but tried not to show it. So she looked down with her hands wrinkling her skirt.

“You’re so weird,” said Shiro “But I like it.”

“I’ll… I’ll have a soda, and a… Burger and a… candy bar… And maybe some small biscuits for Kuro-chan” said Nomi while still staring at her lap not having eye contact with Shiro. She was really feeling odd.

“Soda, burger, candy bar, biscuits… Got it! Just hang in there, don’t go anywhere okay?” said Shiro. He jogged and went to the nearest store. Kuroryo jumped from Nomi’s side and followed Shiro. Nomi lifted her head to have a glimpse on Shiro. He saw him buying the stuff she wanted while Kuroryo was scratching his pants.

She suddenly thought “Why is he doing this? Is this some kind of joke? YEAH maybe it IS! But… He seems to be too good to be a bully… Oh I don’t know…”. Thoughts rang in her head like a large church bell. She was puzzled. But then the sight of Shiro’s back made her feel somewhat secured and gave her an eerie happiness that she could not yet understand. She saw Shiro coming back from the store with Kuroryo pouncing up and down. She looked at her right side right away trying to avoid another eye contact.

Shiro sat beside her. “Here’s your soda,” He handed it to Nomi who was still staring at her right where cars passed by. “And here’s the candy bar. I got you a chocolate bar with mallows in it. I hear they’re scrumptious!” Nomi got the candy bar but still not looking at Shiro. Shiro was just calmly getting the goods out of the plastic bag. “Oh Kuro-chan, here are the biscuits that Nomi wanted you to have!” said Shiro. Kuroryo’s eyes widen with amazement and purred. Shiro opened the bag of biscuits and placed it on the bench for Kuro-chan to start eating. “Oh yeah, and here’s the burger. I got you this cheeseburger. Hope you like it.”

“Cheeseburger’s my favorite…” said Nomi out of the blue. Shiro looked at her. Nomi suddenly faced Shiro and made eye contact. “Thanks.” Said Nomi. She tried her best to smile even though she felt puzzled. Shiro smiled. Then they started to eat.

After two or three bites, Nomi looked at Shiro who was eating a cheeseburger as well. “I’m so puzzled!”

Shiro stopped chewing. He looked at Nomi, curious of what she was about to say.

“I’m so puzzled because you just approach me like you know me even though you don’t. You become all nice to me and to my cat. You take me here and ask me all sorts of weird questions and you buy me stuff. I don’t know why you’re doing this?” said Nomi. “That’s all, I just wanted to share what I felt.” Then she went back eating.

Shiro giggled again. “You’re so honest.”

“Nani?” asked Nomi. Kuroryo purred and went back on munching the biscuits. “Yeah I know I’m weird. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, it’s, it’s a good thing actually. At least I know how you feel. Not like other girls…” He gave a heavy sigh. “Sometimes I can’t figure them out. We talk and all and we’d be close, but I’d feel distant sometimes coz I can’t figure them out.” Said Shiro explaining in full detail.

“It just so happened that I can’t sum up my emotions by myself coz I get all crazy. Plus, I’m just like this, so I want to apologize. And I’m sorry I make you crazy, I talk and talk and talk and it’s just full of non-verbial nonsense…”

“Hey c’mon, relax.” Said Shiro. “You’re just fine to me. Don’t worry. I’m not saying you have to change. I think you’re great just being who you are right now…” said Shiro intently while his bright green eyes stared at Nomi. Nomi looked away from the vibrant gaze, avoiding any unexpected burst of actions.

“Okay. You want me to tell you why I’m doing this?”

Nomi paused and didn’t say a word. She just stared. Although she had so many questions to ask and so many opinions to point out, she felt something strange and urged her to just listen. Kuroryo purred.

Shiro breathed. “Since you’re such an honest girl, I can’t help but be honest, for the sake of being fair and all.” Nomi still gawped.

“I said this to you earlier in the park. You’re not like other girls and that’s why I was magnetized to get to know you better. You see, what I feel right now? Well, I’m tired of the same daily routine that life brings me. Life is nice and all, but it can be a little bit of redundant at times. Everyday when I wake up, I always think ‘Great, I’m going to school, girls’ approach me and do silly things.’ People look up to me like I’m this perfect guy in the whole school. But in reality I’m just not. If only they’d treat me like a normal person. I don’t want them to expect much from me coz there will be a time that I’ll do something wrong and they’ll just be disappointed at me…” Shiro’s joy in his face suddenly faltered, like a sunny day that slowly became rain. He felt down after explaining his inner emotions to Nomi. Nomi, on the other hand, felt guilty for letting Shiro share his thoughts. For the first time, she regretted being too confident.

“Don’t think it’s your fault, Nomi. You’re a very lucky girl, free and not a care in the world. Everyday, when I see you playing with your cat, I can’t help but think if I were in your place. I don’t know. I guess I get tired right away. I guess I’m just over exaggerating…”

“Yeah I agree, you are!” said Nomi suddenly and gave a slight smile and a giggle. Now Nomi was happy and Shiro was puzzled. Kuroryo purred. He finished the biscuits already.

“That’s good. Now you realize how pathetic my life is…” said Shiro trying to smile at Nomi. “Now I’m the one who should apologize for being a blabbermouth…”

“Well…” said Nomi “You certainly corrected my first impression towards you. I can’t believe you feel that way!” said Nomi suddenly bursting with happiness. Shiro smiled but frowned again.

Nomi felt pity towards Shiro afterwards. She placed an arm around Shiro, doing her best to comfort him. “I’m… I’m really sorry. I didn’t have a clue what you felt.” She patted Shiro’s cheak slightly hoping that he’d bring back his smile on his face. Shiro smiled.

“I’m sorry Shiro… At least now I’m beginning to know who you really are…” said Nomi. They looked at each other with earnest.

Then, Nomi hugged Shiro tightly.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m thinking that you might need a sign of care, so here I am hugging you!” said Nomi giggling and hugging Shiro tighter.

Shiro hugged Nomi back and whispered in her ear.

“Thank you Nomi…” said Shiro.

“For what?” asked Nomi

“I dunno…” said Shiro. They giggled.

They hugged each other, felt each other’s warmth. Kuroryo, with bright eyes staring at the two, gazed upon them as the sun was slowly going down.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 01:04:28 GMT

HÃRÛVHENN’S JOURNEY

I love this place…

The petals of the cherry blossoms softly fall as the light breeze blow. Such pink confetti in the air, like a joyful snow in a wonderful spring. I breathe the fresh air. I exhale while my eyes are closed. I am feeling the cool wind. I open my eyes and I see the confetti of the blossoms. The cherry trees stand firm and friendly, strong and bold. I look down and I see a dozen of fallen petals covering the ground. They are soft. I close my eyes. I breathe in and I exhale. I open my eyes. I smile. As the sun sparkle behind the cherry trees, and as the cherry blossoms continue to fall, I smile. I am happy. I feel at peace. Sigh. This place is a sanctuary, my sanctuary. No one is here but me together with these beloved trees. I feel calm and safe. I feel relieved.

But somehow, I feel incomplete…

Suddenly, everything darkens. The joyful trees start to decay. The cherry blossoms are slowly fading from the air until nothing is left. I look down and I see the petals turn in to a black, sticky liquid. The wind grows cold. The sky turns black. I can see the stars moving rapidly and rampant. I can feel the chill inside my body. I look around and I see the darkness surrounding me. I cannot move my feet. The wind still continues to blow, terrorizing me, frightening me. Now, my feet are loose! I run as fast as I can. I am running, towards the darkness. I do not know where I am going. I do not know what’s ahead of the darkness. I am still running. I am catching my breath. I suddenly feel tired. I slip! I topple over. My face is on the ground. I have grease all over me. The wind continues to blow in such a violent attempt with a haunting sound that truly scares me. I am catching my breath. I suddenly feel sad. I am alone. I want to cry. No one is here to help me. I am alone. I try to stand but my mind tells me that my body is heavy. My mind also tells me to let death conquer me. But then I have decided not to succumb to such weakness. I begin to stand and stair at the oblivious darkness. I look at it with complete hopelessness and despair. I stare with an indescribable pale face. As the wind blow vigorously, I still stand cold and stiff. I have nowhere to go. My beautiful sanctuary has turned into a freezing abyss. I close my eyes…

Suddenly, the violent sounds grow weaker and the strong winds diminish.

I am… Falling…

My eyes are closed. Even though my mind tells me to open it, I thought not to. I can feel my body falling. I can feel my hair moving against the wind, brushing my face. My arms and legs are stretched, embracing the air. As I feel my whole body falling endlessly, I see nothing but black. I breathe in and I exhale. I am still falling. I am falling… Asleep…

I open my eyes. I see the sun shining bright. I squint my eyes. I look at my hands and they are filled with sand particles. I look at my surroundings and I have realized that I am in a desert. The sun is high and the sand is hot. I stand up right away. I look at my surroundings once more, thinking which way should I go. I start to walk and then slowly I run. I run under the cosmic sun’s heat. I am running. Suddenly, I feel thirsty. I am hoping that I will be able to find water to quench my dehydrated thirst. I am still running… Running. I stop. I kneel and catch my breath. Suddenly, I am thinking that this is all hopeless.

Right then and there, I see the day turn swiftly in to night.

The sand slowly subsides and it turns into what seems to be salt water. I am about to run, but my mind tells me not to even lift my feet. I stared as I saw the sand that surround me turn into salt water. To my surprise, the sand I am stepping on did not turn in to salt water. I am in a small island surrounded by a vast ocean. I am alone in the open sea under the evening sky. I sit. I stare at the ocean. Now I lie down. I look at the stars that are pinned in the moonlit sky. I see the moon shining in its vibrant glow. I close my eyes. I breathe in and I exhale. I open my eyes. I see the beauty of the night sky. How beautiful it is. Everything around me is calm. Everything becomes so… Blurry…

And I am slowly… Falling asleep once more…

Then, I open my eyes. There, I see an eerie plant swaying in a slow manner. I look at my clothing and it sways in a slow manner as well. I attempt to speak, but bubbles come out instead. I blink. I see my hair covering my face. I fix it and it sways in a slow manner. I am under the ocean. I suddenly see fishes of different kinds solemnly swimming. I look around and I see more various kinds of sea plants. I swim and explore the ocean deep. I know it is evening because the moon is giving light to the ocean. I am swimming. I am swimming. Ahead of me, I see a light going towards my direction. I try to look at the image.

But then a streak of light blinds me like a silent but massive explosion.

“Hãrûvhenn,”

I suddenly wake up. I look at the ceiling. I look at my right and see my light blue and green window with lavender curtains blowing. I rub my eyes and then I smile.

I had a dream. How beautiful and meaningful that dream was. It was eerie, but beautiful.

“Nahd Shyaere…”, I said to my mother. She is calling me to eat breakfast.

I go down the flowery stairs and see my mother cooking my favorite meal. Before sitting down, I go and look out the window. How lovely the purple sky is in such a beautiful morning, I thought. The friendly blue sun shines and the birds sing their joyful hymns.

My mother calls me for breakfast. I sit down and we both eat together. I told my mother how strange yet amazing my dream was. Imagine, I actually dreamt of a different world, and that itself it something.