Subject Online Hook-Up

Wednesday night, 13th of May 2007. I finished work late coz I still had to encode some important files. Afterwards, I told myself I'd spend five to ten minutes checking my mail and my friend accounts.

"Oh boy, 24 messages? Ya gotta be kidding me..." I said. I was checking my Yahoo mail, quite exasperated coz I wanted to go home. I thought I couldn't view all the messages so I decided to just read only the interesting ones.

"Okay... Most of these mails are going to the trash!" I said while checking the bulk mails that were cluttering up my inbox. I was too fast in checking, I wasn't so sure anymore if I chose the right mail to erase. Then suddenly, I looked at the computer and saw that I had a Myspace mail alert telling me I had a message waiting on the Inbox. I tried to find out who sent it, and realized that it was from a stranger.

"Hmm... Might be some guy trying to get to know me better... Again." but I told that to myself with a, sort-of, common, boring mood. You see, at that time, I was already used to strangers emailing me and sharing their heart-filled wishes of "Hey you look great on that pic, can I know you better?". Though most guys who email me don't look that attractive so I just shut them off. Plus, I never trusted online jitters, considering the news I've been hearing about young girls getting kidnapped or raped. Totally gives me the creeps.

Anyway. I still opened that mail coz, somehow, I felt curious. I'm always curious!

"Hey, Mal, I'm gonna be off now. You know how to lock up right?" my secretary/friend, Sheryl, called out. I gave her a blank "Okay" coz my eyes were fixated on the computer monitor.

I was already on my Myspace inbox and to my utmost pry, the mail turned out to be the most unique one I've received. Here, I'm actually gonna place it here.

Subject: ...

Far away, circuits on... I see a face in the oblivion... It warms my body for a second. The unknown air of life, I breathe it...

So intimidating in a single stare... I'm obliged to exaggerate. It'd be hard to negotiate that lucky charm you got.

Nice... Is this just the scene? Neat... Must this be a scenario? I'd be the one flying in to you. For a second it may or not.

Dreams might grow. True enough… They're real after all.

Nice pic. and by the way, I made this one out of it... You seem very interesting....

I felt awe-struck. The poem was deep and it was totally awesome. I loved it! Though, I tried my very best not to get my hopes high even though I was SO drop dead head over heels toward the poem.

"Let us take a look what he looks like!" I said unpredictably clicking at his account. And then I saw it.

His name was Seth… And he wasn't so bad after all!

I looked at his picture really carefully and looked at his other pictures and it turned out that he was actually my type! He had lengthy hair, kind of wavy but short. His hair color was that of brunette brown. Sorry, I'm not quite good at men hairstyles. Then, he had a fair complexion. He had quite thick eyebrows, firm lips. He was thin but not skinny thin, just right thin. And, most especially, he had the most remarkable pair of green eyes, they were like these pair of luminous glow in the dark receptors! I was awed, totally. I crave for guys who have nice eyes especially the glaring ones I see on American TV shows. He actually had those pair of eyes like those on TV (unless he wore contacts, how stupid could he be if he ever did that..) I actually thought that he could actually be qualified for a Prime Time TV show!

"He's hot, but then, I just don't know him!" Though I was so excited and my heart began to pounce, I had to tell myself that this may not go too well. So I regarded my limits and maintained calm and not act all optimistic. So I thought of replying to him. Here I will place it.

Hi there, thanks for dropping me a message. I appreciated the poem so much and I might as well believe that the poem wasn't meant for 'my' picture image. Hehe. Uhhhhmm..... Anyway, thanks so much and yeah, hope to get to know you better. Till then! :) --Magdalynne

After sending the message, I shut the computer off and locked up. I was too anxious to eat dinner at my apartment.

“Sheesh, I’m hungry…”

I never imagined that I'd receive such an unexpected email with a poem. And, at that time, just thinking about the guy who sent it to me, I felt somewhat inferior, coz I felt ugly and had no match for him. I tried to forget about the whole Myspace incident though it just seemed endless. In the most peculiar way, it just kept on coming…

Friday, 15th of May 2007. It was lunch time. I was about to go down and grab a salad when I received, yet again, a mail from Seth. My heart leaped! I actually had Goosebumps all over my arms. But then again I tried to behave.

I read his reply and it here I will place it:

Hey,your welcome. I see you're from Philippines. I'm in Manila right now coz my mom has some work goin around here, so im here for a year or maybe more. So far this country's okay. Miss pennsylvania,though. My mom wants me to get a job here. still thinking about it. i dunno why i'm emailing you. i must be bored. like i said, you seem pretty interesting. wanna meet up? it's okay if you don't. thanks.

I felt somewhat bothered by his mail. I didn't know why.

"Why is he sharing all these stuff to me? And he wants to meet me??" I thought. I was, again, backtracking on the disadvantages of getting involved with men on the net. I felt bothered. But somehow, I felt excited at the same time. I had so many thoughts whirling around my head back then.

And so I ended up replying to his email, anyway. And here it was:

Oh really? I'm living in Manila. I am currently working at a furniture business (pretty boring huh) but it's just a part time thing. I'll be on a filming firm soon (hopefully..) meeting up? hmm wow that's fast. i'm not quite comfortable with that approach. i'm sorry. you seem like a nice person, but I have to think about it. Thanks again for the poem. I thought it was deeply moving. :) -- Magdalynne

When I clicked the "sent" button, I actually realized how stupid I was to click it at a deliberate instant. I wanted to say more or maybe change some ill-mannered words. I just hoped he replied coz I thought I said some not too synthesizing statements.

“I think I was too rude... OH, DOESN'T MATTER! I had to tell those things to him. Ugh… I’m confused…”

While I was eating lunch with my friends, I told them about my email encounter with a cute stranger, Seth.

I actually printed one of his nicer pics and showed it to my friends. Well, obviously and by design, they shrieked in excitement. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO LUCKY!! Can I date him instead?" said Megan. Annie was also excited. But of course they didn't disregard the precautionary measures of Online Mates.

They told me that it was a cool thing and I had to meet him while they tagged along with me. Or if I didn't want any company, they'll just act as spies and look at us from a distance and contact me on my phone if they see or feel anything suspicious. They said it would be much safer that way.

I told them that I’d be okay if I made it on my own, but thanked them for their hospitality. I felt happy that they were such caring ‘officemate-slash-friends’ even though I met them for less than two weeks or so. Megan and Annie are the best.

Right after lunch, I went back to my typing spree. It was back to work when I found out that Seth replied. I could sense that he didn't have anything to do at home. Anyway, I clicked the "Home" button and saw that I had 1 new mail. My very untamed heart started jumping up and down, totally felt ecstatic and scared. Here was Seth's reply:

hahaha.i see youre freaked out by online hooligans. its okay.. i read your profile and found out that i live near the building as to where you work (creepy huh?don't worry im no stalker). i had to ask my mom where your building was and she told me all. theres a starbucks cafe patio right upfront the building rigth? if you're still interested, we can meet there. i'm still in on getting to know your presonality.haha thanks.

I felt like I wanted to scream and be frightened at the same time.

"Why is he saying all these??" I showed my friends the email, and they were like, all happy for me instead. When I showed them more pics of him, they just kept on shaking my back like a bean bag. They made me feel dizzy all right. Yes I already get the point, my friends: You want me to do this date!

"Oh he's cute, though I don't like the grunge look." said Annie. She was a preppy girl so she wasn't that used to guys who were not that 'clean'. I could tell that Seth was kind of like a simple yet deep-seated fellow coz he just wore a shirt and jeans and like 'not-a-care-in-the-world' type of fashion statement. But then it actually looked kind of 'dashing' and 'mystical'. I tried my very best to get back to work, but my hands were itching to reply.

And yes I gave in to the itch. I had to reply. Here was what I had to say:

Okay. I will meet you then. But I hope you're not a mean person who does stupid stuff. I'm sorry I can be delusional sometimes. Ugh. But okay I'll meet you. Tomorrow? This weeK? thanks. --Magdalynne P.S. still love the poem. :)

I had to let some of my emotions soar through my reply. And good thing it turned out well. We set the date. He suggested May 21, Thursday. I told him we'd meet up in the afternoon coz my work would end up until 12. I felt so excited and scared at the same. But more excited nonetheless. I was about to meet an extraordinary American waste too sweet to comprehend. In my eerie perception of feeling, I felt so good.

It was Thursday, May 21 2007. Before I went to the office, I brought my make up kit so that at least I wouldn't look like a sweating mandrill after work. I fixed my hair as best as I could and brought jeans and a shirt so I could change afterwards.

Minutes, hours passed and, for all I knew, it was almost 12. I left work at around 11:30 so that I could prep up myself for my date. I felt so nervous. It reminded me so much of my soiree days during high school.

“This is much freakier than soiree…”

 After fixing myself, I sent Seth an Sms message. Oh yes, he had a phone with him so it was better for me to reach him. He gave me his number along with the dating details on his last message. I asked him where he was and he told me he was already there. So I felt more panicky.

My hands were all shaky. I kept combing my hair with the use of my fingers. My friends saw me in a paranoid state so they rushed instantaneously like sports athletes aiming to calm my whole system.

"C'mon relax or you might screw up!" said Katty in a jokingly manner. I asked them to wish me good luck and I went down the elevator on my way to the Starbucks cafe in front of Tower Abres Building where I was working.

Not long enough I reached the patio of the Cafe.

I was looking hard for him. I couldn’t see where he was when a voice beckoned from behind. Someone called out my name!

"Magdalynne.."

I actually froze.

I looked at my back to see who it was.

And to my amazement, it WAS none other than Seth.

He was actually there and I could not believe it.

He was standing and he was smiling! He was wearing a gray shirt, kind of faded, and some khaki shorts and sneakers. I thought his grunge wardrobe looked self-confidently attractive.

"You're Magdalynne right?" he asked.  Goosebumps grew out off my arms.

"Yeah I am! You're Seth right?" I realized I asked the dumbest question. I felt so nervous, that was why. But he just laughed and shook my hand.

"Yup, that guy's me!" I noticed he had soft hands and I was rapt by it.

He was so adorable. I never predicted that, when we’d talk, I'd actually have a very comforting, interesting and cheery conversation with Seth! Before the date, I had a scenario in my head: I screwing up, and he'll just get pissed and get disappointed at my behavior. But NO he was SO open-minded and was so charming. And when it was my turn to talk, he’d just listen as if he was really interested in what I had to say. I felt like I knew him already for a lot of years when we talk. We were both comfortable with each other and we had a normal but out of the ordinary day.

Though at the back of my head, I was keeping my mind open and wasn't letting any expectation ruin my friendly relationship with Seth. I was thinking that maybe we could hook up but I was also thinking not to expect coz it happened to me before when I was way back in college. When I was talking to Seth, the first thing I told myself was that "He's just being friendly, and that's all. He's talking to me for company not for 'beyond friendship matters'." It was a nice experience. We talked for hours. We ate dinner together at a pizza place and then he wanted to check out the apartment where I was living. We were on our way.

"You're so straight forward..." I said to him.

He grinned "What?"

"Well, American guys say to girls that they like her right then and there. Most guys here seldom do that. There was a time when I was in college, I noticed that guys here are not that frank when it comes to what they feel about girls. Then I realized that guys were just not too vocal about it. Though I just tried my best to understand them and accepted it." I explained to him. Seth was such a good listener. Whenever I had to say something, he'd just be quite and listen to me. I thought that what he said on the mail was true. He WAS really interested in getting to know me.

"That sucks. Philippine guys.." he said laughing. I punched him lightly in the arm, I didn’t know why. He asked me if Philippine women love to punch guys in the arm and I told him most women all over the world do that. We laughed.

"Why, you tell me I’m straight forward?" asked Seth.

"Well, yeah. In fact, you're fine! I kinda like it. I guess I'm just not used to the fact that guys are straight forward. For years, I've been dealing with guys who had so much difficulty in expressing how they felt. They won't say a word! Until I realized that they just weren't interested. Until I realized that I end up getting all confused..." I felt down that moment and stupid at the same time. I felt like I got all emotional, thus, ending up blabbering away.

But Seth grinned like he used to do.

We were still walking. Hands in his pockets, he was kicking the pebbles that got in his way. Then he went quite closer beside me. I forgot to tell you that he has this amazing manly scent. I couldn't figure out what perfume he was using. I wanted to ask him at that time but I was too shy.

"Thanks for the company. I really appreciate it!" said Seth looking at me with a charming smile. I smiled too and looked away coz I felt kind of sad afterwards. I was then thinking: 'I knew it, it was just for company. Yeah I was expecting that..'

But then he said "We should do this more often. I dunno..."

I felt puzzled. He said he wanted to do the thing we were doing more often? But then I just listened to what he was going to say to me.

"When I first saw your image on Myspace, I really liked you at that time and I had the urge to get to know you. You seem pretty interesting. I guess I was too tired of blondes and brunettes or tired of seeing the same people. Not sure..." said Seth doing his very best to explain what he felt.

"I dunno what to say..." I said kind of having a worried look. I was hoping that I didn't say any not-so-nice words.

He sat on the bench. We arrived at the park. It was not far from my place. He sat down and I sat on his left side beside him, though a few inches of distance. I was feeling shy.

"By the way, Seth, I really really love the poem you gave me. I'm not kidding!" I said really convincing him that I was sincere. He laughed and said some jokes. For the past time that we talked, he would also joke around. And good thing I got his jokes. I'm quite of a slow person, not being able to get the jokes right away. But I dunno at that time I was laughing at his comic humor. Maybe I was too attracted to the guy, but nevertheless, I find his jokes funny.

"Well thanks. I'm happy you liked it." he said nodding his head appearing all gentlemanly. I slapped him lightly on his shoulders and cried a slight 'Ouch!'. He was insisting that I slapped his shoulder a little bit harder, but I refused to believe coz I knew it was just a mere tap. But then again he just loved the whole joke concept.

Then he told me that he'll make me more poems and I just waggled my head and said 'Thank you.'

Then we talked about music once more and we also talked about his band. He shared to me that he had a band in Pennsylvania. He was the bassist. But since he was here in Manila, his brother was taking his place. Though the nice thing was that he was still content coz even though he was with them at that moment, he was happy that the band was still intact. He would also send some poems to them and lately received a mail that they were coming up with some songs and hopefully they'll let Seth hear it.

"I sent the poem I made you. Hope they put some melody in it..." he said

"Oh... That would be pretty awesome..." I said right away, with my eyes wide and twitching my eyebrows up and down.

"I don't even know why I made a poem or lyric out of your image. Haha!" said Seth grinning. He looked at me and smiled. I kind of blushed and looked away so as to hide the embarrassment. "But then again I was just interested in ya!" he said

I noticed that he wanted to hold my hand, but he was hesitating not to, so he forgot all about that plan and said "Gee I feel like a Filipino guy.."

I felt puzzled for a split second then I grinned "No... You're starting to become a dear friend of mine! Thank you Seth. Thank you! Thank you!" I said while shaking his shoulder back and forth. He was laughing and saying 'You're welcome' in a shaky tone as well.

He then stood up coz he told me he had to go home soon. He dropped me off my place and he shook my hand. "I really enjoyed your company." he said yet again.

"Haha! You've been saying that for ten gazillion times! But, uhm. Welcome. And I DO want to do this more often! Really!" I said straight away.

He smiled "Me too. Me too."

We said our farewells. He told me that he wanted to hang out more often and I should bring my friends next time. And also he'd introduce me to his friends too. And also (he seemed to have a lot of requests but I just nodded my head and smiled..) he wanted to hang out in my house so that he could quote/unquote 'sabotage' the place. I just laughed coz I was too tired to slap him in the arm. And then right afterwards, I went inside my cozy apartment and went to my room to change.

While I was changing, I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to get an email from Seth. I mean, I thought that there were A LOT of women who were prettier and charming than me. But then he was interested in me. I thought that, in the future, time will soon pass and then he'll grow tired of me. But then I also thought that nothing lasts forever and that I should just be happy and live the present moment without anxieties and expectations.

After changing in to my pajamas, I got an SMS message. It was from Seth. I thought he was gonna say "I enjoyed your company" or anything of the sort, but he said instead:

 Magdalynne! Thank you for the company. And I hope we see each other soon. Take care then! Seth

I felt so relieved, especially the "Take Care" part. Even though I knew nothing lasts forever and perfection in life is impossible, I just focused on what I was feeling at the moment. He said 'Take Care' and that's all I needed.

When I went to bed, I still looked at my phone until I fell asleep still thinking about the wonderful day I had. Questions lingered in my head. It bothered me, yes. But I just thought of positive things.

Seth was my friend. He needed company, and I responded by giving him what he wanted. Yes I felt something. Though I’m not expecting. I’m just there…

And I think, for me, it feels absolutely great: Be there for that someone and forgetting yourself. It’s fun! And since then, I reaped the best of benefits.

Life is so ironic. Who would have imagined that letting go could turn into a blessing in disguise?